Have you been wondering…?

 

 

Have you been wondering where I have been for so long? If you have, then I must say that you should find something better to do with your time.

You see, the last night I spent at my aunt’s house I couldn’t sleep. When the one year old falls asleep, the baby wakes up, and when she falls asleep, the one year old wakes up and the trend goes on all night. Just watching my poor aunt hold one kid after the other and sometimes both in her arms while her eyes are burning red, due to lack of sleep I just couldn’t leave her all by herself and go home. So, I asked her to come along with me, and spend sometime at my place. She agreed, we packed and now it’s been a week since we’ve been home. Home sweeeeeeet home.

The night I got home, I received my work schedule on email and it turned out I was starting work the very next day. Since then I have either been working, or taking care of kids or been going to the mosque, every chance I get. And with the fasting and hot weather, by the time I get home from work or put the babies to sleep, or finish my Isha prayers, I am too exhausted to even lift my finger, let alone type up a blog post. So here I am justifying my absence, and hoping that you will understand. Now, lets change gears:

 

• University is starting from September 7, 2011. I’m excited, but I’m nervous. Very very nervous. I was telling my friend about how nervous I am and he told me to take it easy, and that I am going to love my first year. Well, I’m holding on to his words and let’s hope it turns out that way, insha’Allah.

 

• Laylat-ul-Qadr just passed. And what an amazing night it was. The mosque held and all-nighter, and we did prayers and read supplications together from after Isha prayers, all the way to Sehri. I’m trying to come up with words to describe how  it was, and how much peace and contentment we all felt in our hearts when we left the mosque in the morning, but I can’t. My words are not nearly enough to describe how glorious and peaceful my experience was. Subhan’Allah.

 

Those are the only updates I can think of from the top of my head. I just glanced at the time on the bottom right corner, and now I’m panicking because I have work at 8 am tomorrow, and I haven’t got one bit of sleep all day. So I’m going to have to leave you now. I had a few other things to add, but maybe another time.

Take care my lovely readers, and followers and have yourself a lovely week. Until next time…

 

Adios babies! x

An art. An eye. A passion.

 

We all like being inspired. By family, friends, teacher, celebrities, religion, education. Wherever the eye crosses a sight which sends that warm feeling of pleasure to the heart, and clicks in the tiny cells of the brain, it begins to run in the blood and becomes a passion. Whether it be recreational, technical, literary, historical or whatever else, it becomes that one thing that makes us feel organized in this chaotic world. A place, or an activity we can turn to when we need a break. A motivation. An inspiration. Maybe even a tiny voice inside the head that constantly reminds us to keep our balance and avoid falling off the track. Something that keeps us connected to the world, and when need be, disconnect us from the surroundings. Flipping through magazines, t.v channels, radio stations or when driving on the boulevard at night watching the bright flickering Ads and billboards, we are surrounded by passion. Other people’s passions. Though, an advertisement about shoes and 99 shades of L'Oreal lipstick may not run through our blood, it catches the eye. It ignites some energy and it feels good to know that someone out there is passionate enough about something to boldly speak it out to the world.

What’s your passion? :)

 

Yours Truly x

That sparkle in your eyes…

 

There is nothing more fun than giving a shower to a toddler. Their tiny little bums slipping and sliding in the tub while you spray them with some lukewarm water. As the first spray of water hits their dry body, the face expression is priceless. It’s like they think that they are drowning, so they reach their hands up and jump for air. haha! Throw in some toys so while  you shampoo them they keep distracted. Spray them at the most unexpected time to catch those exciting laughs they let out. But when/if you ever give a baby a shower don’t forget to make sure the water is warm before you spray them. Don’t do what I did and shower them with ice cold water for the first two minutes and then stand there wondering why on earth are their legs shivering. Wrap them up in a warm and soft towel and cuddle their tiny little body tight as they dry up.

What’s the most wonderful experience you have had with kids? :)

 

Yours Truly x

ps. To all the Moms out there: Apologies if I missed some major steps, I’m not actually a mother. :P

Silent nights

 

On nights that my thoughts are flying all around in my head unwilling to form a proper blog post for my lovely readers. I shall leave you with the thoughts of others. These happen to be words my heart can instantly connect with. Maybe you can relate too…

 

“Call it a clan. Call it a tribe. Call it a family. Whatever you call it. Whoever you are, you need one.” - Unknown

 

Yours Truly x

Marriage can wait lets have kids first!

 

So I’ve been away from home for three weeks now. I have been living at my aunt’s place who lives in a city four hours away from home. She just had a new baby girl, so I’ve been helping her around the house. She also has a six year old and a one year old and a husband who loves kids SO much, that he is almost like the fourth kid in the house! It is so entertaining and busy around here. Coming from a home where the youngest is eleven it is quite different being with little kids 24/7. I can barely keep track of  the days and nights nowadays, which is a good thing because it makes the fasting period go by super fast! 

Sometimes I feel really out of place in this house full of adorable children, because I have long passed that stage. Like I said, the youngest in my house is eleven years old so playing with toys and hearing constant screaming and crying is a very distant memory for me now. But I must say, that in my three weeks here with my aunt I have learned a lot of skills:

- Diaper changing

- Feeding toddlers

- Bathing toddlers

- Dressing up a newborn without twisting and turning her arms.

- Waking up at 2 in the morning to warm up a bottle of milk

- Helping my uncle put child proof locks in drawers and cabinets.

I have experienced it all. Sometimes while I’m holding the newborn in my arms and feeding her with the bottle at 2 in the morning, or chasing the one year old around the house trying to get him to wear sunscreen, I feel pretty frustrated. The first thought that comes to mind is: What am I doing here. But at the same time these are lessons that are going to come in very handy a few years from now when I have a family of my own Insha’Allah!

I can’t wait! :D

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go change because I smell like Baby Vomit.

 

Yours Truly x 

And I return to the skyscrapers and neon lights that I call home…

 

You know that feeling you get when everything is out of place? That weird feeling you get when you see people  close to you transform into people you don’t recognize. Perhaps, people you don’t want to recognize? The sinking feeling when people are within your reach but you can’t reach them. You know that feeling where you feel like there are little cracks on your heart like a spider web, and you’re caught in between them? And when you feel the sudden urge to cry but your “Pillow” isn’t there for you? That feeling that makes you just want to drop everything and sit on the couch in the dark with your head between your palms and just breathe?

I don’t have it.

 

Yours truly x

 

Read it. Ponder over it. Call it what your heart pleases.

 

 

Confused.

Empty.

That’s what I was feeling like a few days ago. Lying in bed, waiting for sleep to approach but it never came. Hearing friends talk but not listening to a word that escaped their mouth. Sitting in front of an empty Word screen waiting for the mind to spit out some words, but it remained blank. It was overwhelming. I was feeling lost . I had to be somewhere, but my destination was a blur. As sleep had betrayed me, I was constantly tired and never in the mood to speak to anyone. Going out, answering the phone, chatting with the family, I had put a stop on it all. Just me in my room, in my bed trying to figure out where and when I fell off the track. No luck. I felt like a lost bird, in search of peace. I dreaded the nostalgia, and I dreaded the sleepless nights. Keeping busy didn’t help. I would work stupidly long hours in a week, yet still feel empty inside, and more tired. Days went by with more thinking, more depression and more sleepless nights. I was feeling like I was on one side of the edge and everyone on the opposite side. There was no middle ground. And that place? I was still looking to find that one place, which would bring me peace. Where I could quench my thirst.

On Friday morning, around 11am while I was reading a novel I received a Text message on my phone: “Mosque at 1. You coming?”. Normally, I would make up an excuse and say no to any invitations I received during my period of “confusion”. But fate had other plans for me that day. For some reason, that I can’t remember now, I said Yes. I showered, drank a cup of tea and in a matter of half hour I was ready and waiting by the window for her car to show up. In the time I was waiting, I debated a hundred times whether I should call her up and tell her I can’t go to Jummah today, but I couldn’t.

The mosque was packed with people waiting for Salah. As I entered through the doors I could hear the Adhaan so I rushed inside, without stopping to talk to anyone and found a spot at the prayer mats.  I could feel everyone’s eyes staring me down, wondering where I had been for so long. Without further adieu the Salah began and we all stood up in unity, to began the prayers.  A feeling of peace and pleasure flowed through my mind, body and soul as I followed the Imam in the prayers and let myself open up to Allah (swt).  I had found a connection. A connection to something that made everything feel right. The Salah, followed by some supplications, and a lecture by the sheikh all happened over a period of 3 hours. But, where those hours went, I couldn’t keep track of. Lost in my profound state of tranquility I spent the day at the mosque reading up on some books, starting with the Holy Quran and ending with a brief talk with the Sheikh. I was back on track. I had made peace with myself, and my surroundings.  And what do you know? With my mind, body and soul finally at peace I slept like a baby that night.

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“And when my servants ask you about Me, then (say to them that) verily I am very near; I answer the prayers of the supplicant when he beseeches Me. So they should hear My call, and believe in Me, so that They may be led aright.”

(AL BAQARAH: 186)

 

Ramadan Mubarak to all my dear Muslim followers and readers. :)

Yours Truly x