Monday, February 4, 2013

Let’s be real!

 

Hey Y’all!

I sound so American! How did that happen?!

you know what! can I just be real with you?..just for a sec. Can I take this “Yours Truly: writer about sad stories ish” costume off and have a heart to heart. One person to another. k thanks.

*takes a deeeeep breath*

I need my life back you guys! I need to just drop these bags of school and work problems off of my shoulders for a minute, and stretch my back! I. am. tired.

I know you probably have MUCH bigger problems than me. You probably have bigger deals waiting to happen in your life, whereas lame ol’ Yours Truly is always complaining about one thing or another! I get it!

I’m not here to rant and share another sad story with you. I’m just here to type without a topic in mind for once. Type out the flow of thoughts as they come, and not think too deep.

You are more than welcome to share what you want. Share your monday story, or tuesday story or whatever else happened during the week! Anytthhing my phrend! I’ll listen. Tweet me. comment. FB me. whatever you wants!

I’ll make a cup of coffee, or stop by Starbucks real quick, or get some lemonade. Whatever floats your boat! We will sit and we will talk and it will be greats! okay?

Great!

 

**Reminder to self: Don’t actually publish this post!

 

Too bad Yours Truly me! Not everything needs to be perfect story line, grammar everything okay! Life ain’t a movie!

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Think and plan before you take the step, ‘coz baby its a HUGE step.

 

Recently the topic of Marriage, and the role of spouses has been an uproar here. People as always have different stands on what is the role of the husband and what is the role of the wife. This is not a bad thing, as long as you are not vaguely backing up your opinions with saying, ‘Islam says this’. If you haven’t done research and extensively looked into what Islam actually says about marriage and the role of spouses, then kindly put a smelly sock in your mouth! :)

Excuse my sarcasm, but this is an issue that really makes me chuckle at times. You hear joke like the following and I think of what a joke people have made this issue:

Capture

The mention of Islam was kind of off topic. That is not what I am here to talk about, but I thought it was important to mention it because people often confuse their Islamic practices with their cultural practices. Do your research people and get it right. As heart breaking as it sounds, it is your culture that says, ‘a woman’s place is in the kitchen’, not your religion. (:

What I am here to really talk about is MY stand on this topic. I shall share with you what I think the role of each spouse is, and you may agree or disagree.

I think, it should be as simple as 50-50%:

In today’s society, in most households both spouses are full-time workers. Whether you live in the west, north, east, or south, that is what most house-holds are like. Since that is the case, then please dear hubbies, don’t expect your wife to work 9-5 outside the house and the do the endless house chores herself too! Pitch in. You’re in it as much as she is.

I think, it should and it most of the time does become 70-30% when it comes to kids:

Keeping to Islamic teachings, which is very common sense, the mother plays a huge role in the children’s lives and when it comes to raising kids, the mother has to go the extra mile. But, the hubbies should realise that, and step up to the plate when it comes to kids. This doesn’t mean just doing extra house chores while your wife is busy with the kids, but it also means to spend time with your children. Everyone knows that kids need their dad as much as their mom.

Financial situation:

Honestly, most marriages I have seen are of friends in abroad getting married to guys or girls back home, and sponsoring them, and so these are the types of marriages I will refer to.

If you are marrying someone who you have to sponsor, be sure to plan it out! The immigration process takes more than 2 years (so I’ve heard). If you know that, then explain this to your spouse. Travelling back and forth in the 2 years can be hard, especially if you are still in school. Make sure your spouse understands that. Also, settling in with the spouse can be hard, especially when you’re on your own and not living with your husband’s family like it is back in India and Pakistan. If that is the case, then make sure that you are financially stable, have jobs, a roof over your head, before you think about having children. Children are great, they are a blessing, but don’t have them if you are not ready. Also, this gives you time to get to know your spouse a little better before you start a family. Think and plan.

Does that mean you shouldn’t marry if you’re not financially ready? No. This is a fear that many people have, but keeping with Islamic teachings, it is recommended to get married, and Allah will shower his blessings. Plus, its better to have a partner to support you during struggles, than to struggle alone.

***

Even today people frown upon the fact that two people who are about to get married should discuss such things. Here is my question, why shouldn’t they? They are about to make a huge life changing decision. They have every right to plan their future, give each other their point of view. It will only help the marriage flourish. Yes, people back in the day stepped into marriage blindly and they are still living a happy and married life. God bless them. But, today is different. Today we don’t step into big decisions without thinking about them, because we are afraid of the consequences. Everyone is aware of the rising divorce rates in the world today. In EVERY society. How can you then expect someone to step into a marriage with blind folds on?

Today the roles of the spouses have drifted a long way from what they used to be. The man is not just the breadwinner and protector anymore, and the wife isn’t simply the home-maker and mother. Have they switched roles? No. But the two have become more cooperative and understanding of each other, and so they should be.

And with that, I shall bid farewell.

Have a great weekend lovely readers! I shall see you soon.

 

Yours Truly x

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

A chapter closed..

 

chapter closed

It sounds like a very clich├ęd phrase now that I think about it. People often refer to past experiences and events as “chapters that are closed”. We are constantly progressing forward, and shutting doors and windows behind us. But my question is, when do we exactly know that a certain chapter in our little book called, ‘life’ can be closed, or is ready to be closed?

I used to think that the faster you move forward, the more you progress, the more rapidly your life flips through pages. Old pages are history, new pages are opening new doors and all that. But it was last week that I realised that a part of my book hadn’t really closed properly. It was still lingering around, as a thought in my head, and from time to time it would really bother me, and I would shove the thought aside by telling myself that ‘It’s a closed chapter’. Last week I ran into a character from that chapter of my book. An old friend, who I can’t say i can associate with in any other way, because we met in that specific chapter and that is where we ended.

She started to give me updates about what was going with her, how she was still where we had first met. She mentioned names of people, I had tried VERY VERY hard to forget, but that’s okay. As she talked and talked about old stories, I stood there smiling and nodding as if it wasn’t pinching at all. She told me how far they had come, those people that I didn’t quite want to be reminded of. And I stood their smiling, in the fakest manner.

Our conversation ended after some time and we went in opposite directions. As I walked further away from the discussion I had just had, I began to feel as if a rock was lifted off of my back. It felt kind of nice. It felt like closure.

This whole time I had been telling myself that this chapter was closed, when really it was just incomplete. I hadn’t given it proper closure. But thanks to my friend that day, as she talked about how they had moved on, how she had moved, and I spoke of how I was moving on, I felt what closing a chapter really means.

A chapter is closed when you can hear about the stories, people and things from that chapter, and be okay. When it doesn’t matter anymore, because you have moved too far ahead to look back. At least that’s what closure felt like to me, since I was able to stand through a conversation about that not so happy chapter of life without walking away or changing the topic.

I’m glad that they have moved on, and that I have moved on, because honestly there is nothing that holds you back more in life that old chapters. And so, it feels nice to be able to detach from that string and move forward.

 

Hope you lovelies are having a great week!

See you soon.

 

Yours Truly x

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Weekend <3


Cardigan
romwe.com



Michael Kors crepe pants
theoutnet.com


Giuseppe Zanotti genuine leather handbag
giuseppezanottidesign.com


Mi Lajki bangle jewelry
$6.29 - nelly.com


Shimmer eyeshadow
etsy.com



There is lots you can do with black, but to keep it simple, just throw in some shimmering gold, and light creams and you are good to go! Perfect for a weekend outing, or a Friday night!

Have a great weekend bloggers! 

Yours Truly <3

Friday, January 11, 2013

“"A believer to another believer is like a building whose different parts enforce each other." The Prophet then clasped his hands with the fingers interlaced”

 

You know those days when your Facebook newsfeed takes a 360 turn, and goes from showing your friend’s funny statuses, memes being thrown from one friend’s wall to another, new pictures of a new hair cut one may have gotten, and all that, to posts of genocides, banners with pictures of bleeding women and children on the streets of Gaza, protestors gathered on the streets in temperatures below zero to show their courage and fearlessness shortly after losing a son, or a mom, or a dad in Pakistan. A woman’s story of how she and her children were verbally abused for being who they are.

Yes, it’s time to talk…

Why is it that….

Can you imagine the courage it takes to sit out on streets in freezing weather side by side with bodies of your loved ones? Can you imagine the atrocities that forces one to resort to such measures? All they ask for is protection. How can these images not move you?
Like always, mainstream media doesn't give a damn. We need to spread the word about this sit-in. Share this as much as you can!

All the protests around the world are being heard, and yet this street full of innocent human beings who have faced just as much loss in the battle with terrorists are being purposely neglected and ignored?

Or why is it that….

the people of Gaza who are not neglected by the media per say, but neglected by their fellow brothers and sisters. How many of us have ignored posts as such on Facebook, and twitter, and refuse to spread the word?

Last but not least…

“My daughters were verbally attacked Monday at a Health Club in North London. Trying to stay modest they were changing in the toilets when a woman in her 30's began banging on the doors telling them to hurry up. I quietly said the girls were 'just trying to be modest, sorry for any inconvenience.' When they came out in their hijabs the woman said; 'oh it would YOU lot. Modest? You can't be effing modest when you are blowing up buildings!' She yelled in their faces (I was around the corner at the time). Both girls cried.” – Lauren Booth Facebook.

As sick as I feel after reading these posts, I am not going to say any detailed posts of rant regarding them. Why? Because all of you are intelligent readers, who can understand a cry for help when your see/hear one. I would be a hypocrite if I favoured any one of these statements shared. And so would you. As important as our brothers and sisters in Gaza are to us, so are the innocent human beings of Pakistan, Bahrain, Syria, and the list goes on. We can’t favour one, but have to stand for all our brothers and sisters. It would also be hypocritical of me to spread the story of Lauren Booth as a fellow muslimah living in the west, and forget about my fellow sisters in India, Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia, where women oppression is at its worst!

Lets take a minute to share all these stories, spread the word, and make du’a for all of our brothers and sisters who are in trouble anywhere in the world.

Yours Truly x

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Cozy red! What is your favourite fall/winter color?




Hello dear bloggers!
How art thou doing on this fine wintery day? Here’s what I like about the ‘warm winter days’, they are warm, and you don’t have to start your car before hand, or layer up in bundles of jackets and scarves and all that. Which is really nice and time saving. What I don’t like is the slush on the road from all the melting snow. It is so hard to drive on, there is black ice in places you wouldn’t even imagine. Cars spinning on the highway, your shoes getting showered with mud… Oh the wonders of snow!
Tis the night before school starts, and I am sitting here typing up a post, while also thinking about where on campus my class is. I’m going to be honest, it is really exciting going back to school after such a long break. Over six months. And what a six months these have been. So many life changing experiences, its unbelievable. Another reason I’m excited is because I have transferred into B.Ed., and will be taking some new Ed courses, which will be quite a change from all the Shakespeare.
Hopefully I’ll be able to keep up with blogging while in school. It really is a nice mind refresher.
How has your winter been so far? How cold is it in your part of the world? Share your stories, Yours Truly would love to hear them!
Take care!

Yours Truly  x

Sunday, December 30, 2012

“Time flames like a paraffin stove / and what burns are the minutes I live.”–Irving Layton

 

Hey there stranger,

How are you doing? It’s been a long long time hasn’t it?

The last time I was here I believe I was ranting (as always) about my summer, and it has been a while since I’ve appeared here. To be quite honest with you, it has been a long time since I have logged on here, let alone published a line or two. But instead of going into why I was away, and what I was busy with, I want to get straight to the point. Well, its really just a thought that’s been lingering around in my head for about a month now. A thought that has kept me awake at nights tossing and turning in my bed. A thought that takes away my concentration from work and food ends up getting burnt, or a glass is over flown. A thought that at certain times has had me put my head in mom’s lap weeping, while she reads her supplications on her praying mat.

From November 6th, up to December 6th, I was in Pakistan. It had been six years since I had been to the motherland and as any other person, I was excited beyond belief. From the start of my journey till the first few days in Pakistan I was so excited that it was a very numb feeling. Seeing old faces that had gotten older over time, seeing new people, mostly kids that I had never seen before. Meeting nieces and nephews for the first time. Shopping, touring etc. It was all so exciting that if I was to sit down with a pen and paper and try to explain how I felt, I would be just left sitting and the ink would dry out.

It wasn’t until a week or so later that I had gotten into the routine of things there. Gotten used to the power outage, or the humid 30 degrees in the middle of November, the names and faces of the relatives etc., that I started to notice and compare things. I started to compare the life I was living there during that month, to the life six years ago. It was just so different. Places had changed, fashion had changed, of course, but most importantly, people had changed.

The people that once were my role models or my best friends, were these strangers almost that I might as well have been meeting for the first time. All grown up, and not like the childish girls and guys we used to be, it was all a bit overwhelming. It made me feel happy, yet uncomfortable to see these guys and gals working, and raising kids, and hosting dinners for families. It made me realise how six years felt like a glimpse of an eye, but had rearranged so much. And the thing is that, they must not feel the same way. Sure for them, I had grown up too. I had changed a whole lot too in the last six years. But since I was the one who packed up my life and moved to an unknown place to start a brand new life, I was the one who always lived in the past. For them, I was just a guest who was visiting after a long time.

The worst was feeling the absence of the ones that had past away in the last six years. I walked into a house where I spent most of my childhood. It still had the same look, the same people, the same furniture, hell the same set up, but every time I walked in, I felt like there was something hollow inside me. It felt as if these houses lacked the light and wisdom of a person that used to be the foundation of the house. I missed my grandmother. It didn’t hit me how much I had missed her and how the changes that I observed around me were so evident and scary until I visited her grave for the first time. From the minute the car entered the large gates of a vast land named ‘vadi-e-hussain’, up until I saw my mom throw herself onto the one grave decorated with dry flowers, and dried out candles, this thought had entered my head.

Six years ago, she was the reason I would go all the way to Pakistan, meet and greet, spend some time with her, be enlightened by her wisdom and protected by her prayers. Now there was no one to offer their wisdom, no one that would stay up all night sitting on the praying mat until the sides of her ankles turned rock hard, and pray for my good future. My happiness. In between a hundred or so relatives and friends, I felt alone.

We often don’t realise how much we take our families and certain individuals of our families for granted. Those of you who have had to let go of a special family member, whether it be a grandparent, a parent, or a sibling, knows what I’m talking about. Everything without them feels as if it has no worth.

I will always be grateful to all my family members who made this one month trip a memorable one with all their love and care. But, I cannot, no matter how much I try, ignore the fact that six years has brought about massive changes that I still am getting used to. And yes, that is the exact reason why I have been away for so long. Believe it or not, but its not just writing that I haven’t kept up with. I have also been much less social. My apologies to my dear dear friend, who I am sure will read this. I apologise for the long break.

It still upsets me more than ever that every time I go back to visit, things will be even more different, and who knows, maybe more people will be added and or, subtracted from the family. But its a reality that I have to get used to I guess. Though, I can’t say how long it will take me. I have been back for almost a month now and as I sit here writing this, I can feel the hollowness inside me again.

I apologise on how sad this post was. Don’t worry, visiting Pakistan had lots of upsides to it too, like all the shopping I did :D. But I will save that for another time and let you have a break.

Thank you for listening you!

 

Yours Truly.