Saturday, October 23, 2010

Writing is like a bath from which you come out feeling cleaner, healtheir, and free-er ;)

This blog post will not make sense to you unless you know what Area 51 is. If not, then check this out before you read the post. 

Read it ? Sweet! Now let's take a look at what the lovely English professor at the University of Alberta has to say about Area 51...

 Area 51
An underground, secret, scary place that might not even really exist, so perfect for storing bodies of Extraterrestrials and escapees from the Cold War dirty tricks gone bad.
We need Area 51 - in fact we all have our own "Area 51". The places in our brains we hide away the things we don't want to show the world, or have the world look into too deeply. Roswell is inside everyone, guarded to keep our own conspiracies of self safe from danger - to us and OTHERS.

Not badly written in a two minute time frame ;)

This is Yours Truly sharing what's on her mind =]


Tuesday, October 19, 2010

“Do you think that you lost it, you felt it so strong but nothing turned out how you wanted”

Rushing out of the house, like being chased by a dog, and not having a clue that the coffee mug is unlocked; RIP white shirt. Getting to her parking spot a minute too late, and some jerk swerves his car into her parking spot! Making it to class just in time, she goes to her seat, before the attendance call begins. Getting through the morning classes, while drinking coffee, writing notes and still trying to wake up! Although she has been rushing through it all since the morning, the day itself is going by quite slowly. Sinking back into her chair she takes a deep breath, and tries to process what the teacher is going on and on about. After about five minutes of listening to the teacher’s yap, she reaches into her pocket to take out her blackberry. The only way to make the clock tick faster was if she put her fingers to work. She unlocks the blackberry to send her first text message and the screen reads ‘Good bye’. Low battery. Oh the day has only begun! She takes a big sip of her coffee, and starts to count down the minutes.

Noon came along and the day got even worse. There were two meetings to attend, back to back and a test to write. She stands by her locker for a minute trying to prioritize the three tasks she has to complete and makes the wrong choice. She writes the test, which turned out to be just a mock quiz (for those of you who don’t know a mock quiz is a replacement test that is optional). The two meetings that she missed for this lovely ‘mock test’ were probably the most important ones she had ever missed. What do you know…today just wasn’t her day.

Comes evening after an endless amount of rushing and she comes home. Sitting at her computer desk, after putting her cell phone on charge, she thinks about the ridiculous day she has had and everything that made it so ridiculous:

The missed meetings,
dead cell phone
the stain on the shirt that will stay forever.
the lack of sleep which was going to leave her feeling lazy and drowsy now.
Being on time, yet a minute too late to park

Two and a half hours have almost gone by and she is lost in the world of numbers, trying to figure out the equations for those damn math problems. It’s about time something distracted her. The cell phone all charged and full of energy now began to buzz; all the texts and emails she missed today are all being received now starting from the latest. There were three texts and a missed call.

Text one: Did you hear? Why did she do it?? I don’t know what to do… - 3:39 pm.

Text two: Hey bud. I’m so sorry about Paige. L May her soul rest in peace. - 12:10 pm.

Text three: Hey. This is Paige’s brother. Paige passed away. She committed suicide. It might have been late last night or early this morning we don‘t know. You’re one of her long term friends, so I felt I should tell you. - 10:33 am.

Missed call: Paige Leduck. 3:49 am.

The first tear rolls down and she is back in the summer of 2003 when Paige walked in to her life. By the time the second tear absorbs into her shirt she is in December 2007, sharing a giant piece of chocolate cake with her at the New Year’s Eve party. At the drop of the third tear she imagines herself answering The phone call.

The tears dry up and she is back in the existing moment in time, lying in bed now. The night is prolonging with a thousand questions in her mind. She had completely lost track of when the hours between the evening turned into a silent night. Lying in her bed now she enters the state of deep nostalgia. Thinking about:

The chances that she missed of telling Paige how much she loved her.
The dead cell phone preventing her from taking that call.
Feeling as if she was too late to make a difference now.
The print she left on her heart, that will stay forever.
The lack of sleep which was going to leave her an insomniac now.

This is Yours Truly sharing a piece of her heart =]


Tuesday, October 12, 2010

If you can't explain it simply, you don't have to

‘What would happen if I ever lost my loved ones? If mom, dad, my sisters, Iqra, or my gradnma, were to leave and move to heaven, how would I survive? How many tears would I shed before, I can finally get a hold of myself and move on with life? How long will it be till I can resist crying, and smile? Honestly smile? Would I ever be able to forget them? Would I want to forget them? I wouldn’t. I’d remember them every day of my life. It must be very hard to lose someone so close.’  Those were her last thoughts as she wiped the tear from her eye, closed them and turned over to get some sleep and a break from such painful thoughts.

That what I just shared up there with you, was written from a perspective of someone who has never lost someone very close to her heart. She has seen many deaths, and heard many cries but all from a distant. She doesn’t know what it’s like to lose someone so dear. God has blessed her with a loving family and some loving friends and she thanks Him for this blessing every day. She doesn’t know how much sorrow can be filled in those tears. She fails to understand how the memories that once made a person laugh till they couldn’t breathe can also haunt them so they can barely sleep. She also doesn’t know that the heart can become so heavy that it feels like it weighs a Ton, and the weight doesn’t lift off till much later. She doesn’t share any experience of a Great loss what so ever. However, she has a talent that many of us lack. She has the courage to show compassion. I use the word courage because every body cares and everybody has compassion, but many hide it or are just too ignorant to show it. She may not know what it is like to lose a best friend or a sibling or a parent but she cares for those who have. She truly respects their courage because she knows that if she can get her eyes to tear up by only imagining a great loss, then the people who have actually lost must be miserable to the extreme. This girl realises one thing about herself, that we sometimes fail to do so. She knows that she is a human being and specifically of the female gender which is the more complex one. As a human being, she knows that she is complicated beyond belief. She also realises with some disappointment that as a perplexed human who has not yet been through a great loss, she can not understand the pain. Yet, she tries and many times fails miserably. But she’s there to listen, if you want to talk. She has two shoulders to offer where you can wipe your tears. If you prefer Kleenex she has those too. She can give you as many hugs as you need. She will not say, “I understand.”, “I know how you feel” But she cares and she would like you to let her care for you. She is willing to look up at the stars with you in silence if that’s what you prefer and help you find the one you’re searching for. She doesn’t like to see people in pain whether she feel it or not, but she’ll do everything in her power to try and understand the sorrow and ease the pain. That is all.

This is yours truly sharing with you what's on her mind. =]

Saturday, October 9, 2010

'Save Tonight and Fight the Break of Dawn'

October 5, 2010 at 7:15 am exactly my Blackberry ‘ding-ed’ to wake me up like usual. Just as I do every single day I got out of bed, rubbing my eyes and stumbled over to the phone to turn off the alarm. However, when I went to click the ‘turn off’ button for the alarm I saw there was no alarm. Ugh! I forgot to set the alarm again!, I thought to myself and put the cell phone back on the table. As I was turning back I realised, if I had forgot to set the alarm then how and why did the cell phone ‘Ding’?. This was turning out to be one weird morning, because normally I would get out of bed, turn off the alarm, go to the bathroom, get ready and get on with the day. Never would I sit there with my eyes half shut, grabbing the phone and putting it back and grabbing it again, while the whole time my bed is calling me back to sleep. And on top of that have these little conversations going on in my head. I rubbed my eyes once again and looked back at the phone, to see a tiny yellow envelope on the top of the screen. Yes, it was an email notifying ding. I smiled and rolled my eyes, because I knew exactly who’s email it was, and I also knew that it was going to be something awesome and would put a big smile on my face by the time I was finished reading it. So, instead of waiting till the end of the email to smile, why not open it with a smile? I clicked the box and popped open this: "Hey buddy! How are you?....Have a lovely day! =] x". The email also had a beautiful PowerPoint attached to it. Reading this email and watching that PowerPoint was the first thing I did that morning, and after that I sat there for a minute smiling and thinking how sweet my friend was to send me this email. He probably didn’t expect me to read it first thing in the morning while stumbling out of bed and having stupid little conversations in my head, but there honestly couldn’t have been a better time to read it. The reason for that being, at the end of the previous day I was hit with some upsetting news and it had turned my day into shit! This email I got the next morning had me smiling all day and for a few short hours I forgot about the ‘upsetting news’ that had hit me the night before. Even though there were just nine simple words and a short PowerPoint in the email, the fact that my friend took the time to send me that email was the real reason I was smiling. For him this may be a ‘no big deal’, since he is the sender, but for the one who received it, [and opened it first thing in the morning], it’s quite something. It reminds me of the saying, ‘Friendships is not one big thing, it’s a million little things.' 

The reason I'm sharing this little story with you is because I personally believe that, putting a smile on some one's face, whether it be a friend, a family member or a complete stranger is the most gratifying thing Ever! So try it...send somebody a text or an email it doesn't have to contain a complete message, just a 'hi' and a smile face would do! It's the smallest and the least time consuming thing you can do, and yet could have a BIG impact, because the person on the other end could be having a crappy day and could really use a smile. Or, they could be having an awesome day, in which case your message would probably just add to their happiness! =]

This is Yours Truly sharing what's on her mind.

Peace ;)