Thursday, January 24, 2013

Think and plan before you take the step, ‘coz baby its a HUGE step.


Recently the topic of Marriage, and the role of spouses has been an uproar here. People as always have different stands on what is the role of the husband and what is the role of the wife. This is not a bad thing, as long as you are not vaguely backing up your opinions with saying, ‘Islam says this’. If you haven’t done research and extensively looked into what Islam actually says about marriage and the role of spouses, then kindly put a smelly sock in your mouth! :)

Excuse my sarcasm, but this is an issue that really makes me chuckle at times. You hear joke like the following and I think of what a joke people have made this issue:


The mention of Islam was kind of off topic. That is not what I am here to talk about, but I thought it was important to mention it because people often confuse their Islamic practices with their cultural practices. Do your research people and get it right. As heart breaking as it sounds, it is your culture that says, ‘a woman’s place is in the kitchen’, not your religion. (:

What I am here to really talk about is MY stand on this topic. I shall share with you what I think the role of each spouse is, and you may agree or disagree.

I think, it should be as simple as 50-50%:

In today’s society, in most households both spouses are full-time workers. Whether you live in the west, north, east, or south, that is what most house-holds are like. Since that is the case, then please dear hubbies, don’t expect your wife to work 9-5 outside the house and the do the endless house chores herself too! Pitch in. You’re in it as much as she is.

I think, it should and it most of the time does become 70-30% when it comes to kids:

Keeping to Islamic teachings, which is very common sense, the mother plays a huge role in the children’s lives and when it comes to raising kids, the mother has to go the extra mile. But, the hubbies should realise that, and step up to the plate when it comes to kids. This doesn’t mean just doing extra house chores while your wife is busy with the kids, but it also means to spend time with your children. Everyone knows that kids need their dad as much as their mom.

Financial situation:

Honestly, most marriages I have seen are of friends in abroad getting married to guys or girls back home, and sponsoring them, and so these are the types of marriages I will refer to.

If you are marrying someone who you have to sponsor, be sure to plan it out! The immigration process takes more than 2 years (so I’ve heard). If you know that, then explain this to your spouse. Travelling back and forth in the 2 years can be hard, especially if you are still in school. Make sure your spouse understands that. Also, settling in with the spouse can be hard, especially when you’re on your own and not living with your husband’s family like it is back in India and Pakistan. If that is the case, then make sure that you are financially stable, have jobs, a roof over your head, before you think about having children. Children are great, they are a blessing, but don’t have them if you are not ready. Also, this gives you time to get to know your spouse a little better before you start a family. Think and plan.

Does that mean you shouldn’t marry if you’re not financially ready? No. This is a fear that many people have, but keeping with Islamic teachings, it is recommended to get married, and Allah will shower his blessings. Plus, its better to have a partner to support you during struggles, than to struggle alone.


Even today people frown upon the fact that two people who are about to get married should discuss such things. Here is my question, why shouldn’t they? They are about to make a huge life changing decision. They have every right to plan their future, give each other their point of view. It will only help the marriage flourish. Yes, people back in the day stepped into marriage blindly and they are still living a happy and married life. God bless them. But, today is different. Today we don’t step into big decisions without thinking about them, because we are afraid of the consequences. Everyone is aware of the rising divorce rates in the world today. In EVERY society. How can you then expect someone to step into a marriage with blind folds on?

Today the roles of the spouses have drifted a long way from what they used to be. The man is not just the breadwinner and protector anymore, and the wife isn’t simply the home-maker and mother. Have they switched roles? No. But the two have become more cooperative and understanding of each other, and so they should be.

And with that, I shall bid farewell.

Have a great weekend lovely readers! I shall see you soon.


Yours Truly x

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

A chapter closed..


chapter closed

It sounds like a very clich├ęd phrase now that I think about it. People often refer to past experiences and events as “chapters that are closed”. We are constantly progressing forward, and shutting doors and windows behind us. But my question is, when do we exactly know that a certain chapter in our little book called, ‘life’ can be closed, or is ready to be closed?

I used to think that the faster you move forward, the more you progress, the more rapidly your life flips through pages. Old pages are history, new pages are opening new doors and all that. But it was last week that I realised that a part of my book hadn’t really closed properly. It was still lingering around, as a thought in my head, and from time to time it would really bother me, and I would shove the thought aside by telling myself that ‘It’s a closed chapter’. Last week I ran into a character from that chapter of my book. An old friend, who I can’t say i can associate with in any other way, because we met in that specific chapter and that is where we ended.

She started to give me updates about what was going with her, how she was still where we had first met. She mentioned names of people, I had tried VERY VERY hard to forget, but that’s okay. As she talked and talked about old stories, I stood there smiling and nodding as if it wasn’t pinching at all. She told me how far they had come, those people that I didn’t quite want to be reminded of. And I stood their smiling, in the fakest manner.

Our conversation ended after some time and we went in opposite directions. As I walked further away from the discussion I had just had, I began to feel as if a rock was lifted off of my back. It felt kind of nice. It felt like closure.

This whole time I had been telling myself that this chapter was closed, when really it was just incomplete. I hadn’t given it proper closure. But thanks to my friend that day, as she talked about how they had moved on, how she had moved, and I spoke of how I was moving on, I felt what closing a chapter really means.

A chapter is closed when you can hear about the stories, people and things from that chapter, and be okay. When it doesn’t matter anymore, because you have moved too far ahead to look back. At least that’s what closure felt like to me, since I was able to stand through a conversation about that not so happy chapter of life without walking away or changing the topic.

I’m glad that they have moved on, and that I have moved on, because honestly there is nothing that holds you back more in life that old chapters. And so, it feels nice to be able to detach from that string and move forward.


Hope you lovelies are having a great week!

See you soon.


Yours Truly x

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Weekend <3


Michael Kors crepe pants

Giuseppe Zanotti genuine leather handbag

Mi Lajki bangle jewelry
$6.29 -

Shimmer eyeshadow

There is lots you can do with black, but to keep it simple, just throw in some shimmering gold, and light creams and you are good to go! Perfect for a weekend outing, or a Friday night!

Have a great weekend bloggers! 

Yours Truly <3

Friday, January 11, 2013

“"A believer to another believer is like a building whose different parts enforce each other." The Prophet then clasped his hands with the fingers interlaced”


You know those days when your Facebook newsfeed takes a 360 turn, and goes from showing your friend’s funny statuses, memes being thrown from one friend’s wall to another, new pictures of a new hair cut one may have gotten, and all that, to posts of genocides, banners with pictures of bleeding women and children on the streets of Gaza, protestors gathered on the streets in temperatures below zero to show their courage and fearlessness shortly after losing a son, or a mom, or a dad in Pakistan. A woman’s story of how she and her children were verbally abused for being who they are.

Yes, it’s time to talk…

Why is it that….

Can you imagine the courage it takes to sit out on streets in freezing weather side by side with bodies of your loved ones? Can you imagine the atrocities that forces one to resort to such measures? All they ask for is protection. How can these images not move you?
Like always, mainstream media doesn't give a damn. We need to spread the word about this sit-in. Share this as much as you can!

All the protests around the world are being heard, and yet this street full of innocent human beings who have faced just as much loss in the battle with terrorists are being purposely neglected and ignored?

Or why is it that….

the people of Gaza who are not neglected by the media per say, but neglected by their fellow brothers and sisters. How many of us have ignored posts as such on Facebook, and twitter, and refuse to spread the word?

Last but not least…

“My daughters were verbally attacked Monday at a Health Club in North London. Trying to stay modest they were changing in the toilets when a woman in her 30's began banging on the doors telling them to hurry up. I quietly said the girls were 'just trying to be modest, sorry for any inconvenience.' When they came out in their hijabs the woman said; 'oh it would YOU lot. Modest? You can't be effing modest when you are blowing up buildings!' She yelled in their faces (I was around the corner at the time). Both girls cried.” – Lauren Booth Facebook.

As sick as I feel after reading these posts, I am not going to say any detailed posts of rant regarding them. Why? Because all of you are intelligent readers, who can understand a cry for help when your see/hear one. I would be a hypocrite if I favoured any one of these statements shared. And so would you. As important as our brothers and sisters in Gaza are to us, so are the innocent human beings of Pakistan, Bahrain, Syria, and the list goes on. We can’t favour one, but have to stand for all our brothers and sisters. It would also be hypocritical of me to spread the story of Lauren Booth as a fellow muslimah living in the west, and forget about my fellow sisters in India, Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia, where women oppression is at its worst!

Lets take a minute to share all these stories, spread the word, and make du’a for all of our brothers and sisters who are in trouble anywhere in the world.

Yours Truly x

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Cozy red! What is your favourite fall/winter color?

Hello dear bloggers!
How art thou doing on this fine wintery day? Here’s what I like about the ‘warm winter days’, they are warm, and you don’t have to start your car before hand, or layer up in bundles of jackets and scarves and all that. Which is really nice and time saving. What I don’t like is the slush on the road from all the melting snow. It is so hard to drive on, there is black ice in places you wouldn’t even imagine. Cars spinning on the highway, your shoes getting showered with mud… Oh the wonders of snow!
Tis the night before school starts, and I am sitting here typing up a post, while also thinking about where on campus my class is. I’m going to be honest, it is really exciting going back to school after such a long break. Over six months. And what a six months these have been. So many life changing experiences, its unbelievable. Another reason I’m excited is because I have transferred into B.Ed., and will be taking some new Ed courses, which will be quite a change from all the Shakespeare.
Hopefully I’ll be able to keep up with blogging while in school. It really is a nice mind refresher.
How has your winter been so far? How cold is it in your part of the world? Share your stories, Yours Truly would love to hear them!
Take care!

Yours Truly  x