It sounds like a very clichéd phrase now that I think about it. People often refer to past experiences and events as “chapters that are closed”. We are constantly progressing forward, and shutting doors and windows behind us. But my question is, when do we exactly know that a certain chapter in our little book called, ‘life’ can be closed, or is ready to be closed?
I used to think that the faster you move forward, the more you progress, the more rapidly your life flips through pages. Old pages are history, new pages are opening new doors and all that. But it was last week that I realised that a part of my book hadn’t really closed properly. It was still lingering around, as a thought in my head, and from time to time it would really bother me, and I would shove the thought aside by telling myself that ‘It’s a closed chapter’. Last week I ran into a character from that chapter of my book. An old friend, who I can’t say i can associate with in any other way, because we met in that specific chapter and that is where we ended.
She started to give me updates about what was going with her, how she was still where we had first met. She mentioned names of people, I had tried VERY VERY hard to forget, but that’s okay. As she talked and talked about old stories, I stood there smiling and nodding as if it wasn’t pinching at all. She told me how far they had come, those people that I didn’t quite want to be reminded of. And I stood their smiling, in the fakest manner.
Our conversation ended after some time and we went in opposite directions. As I walked further away from the discussion I had just had, I began to feel as if a rock was lifted off of my back. It felt kind of nice. It felt like closure.
This whole time I had been telling myself that this chapter was closed, when really it was just incomplete. I hadn’t given it proper closure. But thanks to my friend that day, as she talked about how they had moved on, how she had moved, and I spoke of how I was moving on, I felt what closing a chapter really means.
A chapter is closed when you can hear about the stories, people and things from that chapter, and be okay. When it doesn’t matter anymore, because you have moved too far ahead to look back. At least that’s what closure felt like to me, since I was able to stand through a conversation about that not so happy chapter of life without walking away or changing the topic.
I’m glad that they have moved on, and that I have moved on, because honestly there is nothing that holds you back more in life that old chapters. And so, it feels nice to be able to detach from that string and move forward.
Hope you lovelies are having a great week!
See you soon.
Yours Truly x